Book Review: The Lemon Table – Julian Barnes

The Lemon Table, Julian Barnes

Another fine selection of short stories from Julian Barnes summed up in an introduction to the book:

“From the salon where an old man measures out his life in haircuts, to the concert hall where a music lover carries out an obsessive campaign against those who cough during performances; from the woman reading elaborate recipes to her sick husband as a substitute for sex, to the woman ‘incarcerated’ in an old people’s home beginning a correspondence with an author that enriches both their lives –all Barnes’ characters, in their different ways, square up to death and rage against the dying light.”

The Lemon Table, Julian Barnes
Here’s one of my favourites:
Vigilance”, a tale about a concert goer who becomes obsessed with the coughers, snufflers and sneezers while an orchestra is playing and devises a number of strategies to “deal with them”. Offering a cough sweet is at the mild end of the strategic spectrum whilst tripping them up at the top of a flight of stairs during the interval is more extreme … but more fun. Lots of other funny strategies in between.
The author has a way of writing these stories in such a way that you believe the characters are real and known to him. In some cases they probably are, but they are human stories as much as tales about an event or an incident.
Typical of this is “Knowing French” which is nothing to do with France or the language, but a series of letters written to Barnes by an 81 years old woman, Sylvia Winstanley, from her Old People’s Home she refers to as The Old Folkery. It’s sad but funny as she refers to her “inmates” as The Deaf and the Dead and relates various incidents such as the disappearing Creme Eggs, and her friendship with Daphne Charteris supposedly one of the few women trained to fly a Lancaster Bomber in WWII! 
Much food for thought in every one of them, especially if you’re 50+ years old and can spot the recurring theme. No spoilers!
The Lemon Table, Julian Barnes

10 thoughts on “Book Review: The Lemon Table – Julian Barnes

    1. Some of my stats are in purple! But the whole thing has been weird since they started this beta testing of new post creation and editing. Crap basically!

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      1. Glad it is not just me. Orange has become purple and it looks really strange. I haven’t dared try the new editor yet, I am scheduling posts in advance in anticipation of the whole thing collapsing!

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  1. There is a nice story from a care home in Grimsby called The Grange. A year or two ago they ordered some Christmas cards for residents to send. When they arrived there was a misprint – Happy Christmas From The Grave’!

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        1. I’d rather watch my toenails grow! 😂😂 Off topic again, but I’ve also got a load of posts ready to go across January, but then it’ll be radio silence for a while as I want to try and finish the book I’m writing …..

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