No resolutions, just a grumpy wish list for 2019


I haven’t written New Year resolutions or annual objectives for about 10 years now, but after hearing a conversation between my wife and a long standing Nepalese friend from our student days, I thought I’d do a Wish List for 2019 instead. Nothing fancy, but prompted by my wife’s friend saying that Britain is nothing like the country he first came to in 1968, and that it’s changed for the worst. I guess my list is a “glass half empty” model, but there’s nothing wrong with that because I truly thought my glass was brim full of optimism, pride, ambition and happiness back in 1968, and anyway it’s MY list!

In 2019 I want:

• My daily mail/post to be delivered BEFORE 3pm, and preferably before 9am.

• My regular deliveries from Amazon and others to be made in a van which is marked with a name or logo on the side instead of a battered unmarked white van with a driver who can’t understand what I’m asking him.

• For Nero’s, Costa, Starbucks et al to start serving proper leaf tea, in a teapot, with a separate jug of hot water and cold milk instead of a bloody teabag dangling in tepid water in a cup. I accompany my wife into these places anyway but take up a seat and still use their WiFi but without buying anything because they don’t cater for the male half of our marriage.

  • For the BBC licence fee to be ended …. PLEASE! I’ll gladly give an equivalent amount annually for the homeless.

• To be able to visit our capital city, London, again without fear of being blown up, shot, stabbed, or rammed by a speeding bloody van, white or otherwise.

• For our dear Mayor of London to get off his arse and stop telling us it will take a generation to solve the above problem, because I just haven’t got the time to wait.

• To be able to take a ride on a train without fear of being sprayed with beer, subjected to foul language from the travelling football fans, or “entertained” with somebody else’s phone call. I don’t want to be stabbed whilst waiting at the station either.

• To be able to visit a Western European city at Christmas and stroll around Christmas markets without fear of being stabbed, shot, maimed or blown to bloody smithereens.

• For my daughter to attend music concerts without my wetting myself until she’s home safely and has not been subjected to rape, assault, or otherwise in the name of multiculturalism or diversity.

• For the House of Lords to be closed, abolished, blown up, and all peers relegated back to being a pleb like the rest of us.

• For the UK to have a new Prime Minister, I almost don’t care which colour rosette they wear but get rid of this bloody woman.

• And finally, to sit at home, midnight March 31st, and to raise a glass of English wine and a two fingered salute to those tossers in Brussels, not the lovely Belgian people, but Juncker, Tusk, Verhofsted, …. you all know who I mean!




Categories: Politics

Tags: , , , , , , ,

10 replies

  1. £10 a month for the BBC v Sky, Netflix, Spotify, BT, Amazon subscription prices? Good deal by comparison I would have thought.
    Anyway, Mr Meldrew would be proud of your list, although not many of the things you’re frightened of happening actually happen to many people though.

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  2. At least the glass of English wine to celebrate 31st March may well materialise before the end of 2019… As for the other wishes, let’s hope we make some progress… By the way, I am pleased your finger gesture was not aimed at all the Belgians.. I am Belgian and British, pro-Brexit and proud of it!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your much appreciated comment. My Nepalese wife and I love Belgium, we visit Bruges regularly and spent Christmas in Brussels a couple of years ago. Most folks don’t understand that our dislike of the EU has nothing to do with Europeans! We have French friends in Pommard and Chablis, Spanish friends in Barcelona, and Italian friends in southern Italy. We love Budapest, have friends in Denmark …. I could go on! I see you’ve been to Everest Base Camp, I’ve been there 8 times and climbed a few peaks too. Writing a book now entitled A Year in Nepal, though I’ve spent much longer there for a variety of reasons 👍🍷

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  3. An interesting list, a lot of fear running through it. I try not to worry. If bad things happen, bad things happen!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s a very passive and negative view Andrew. I could have written it differently but it only took me 10 mins, I could have used the word “rage” instead of fear, but I actually have no fear for myself, couldn’t give a shit, but I do fear for my wife, daughter …. and my country. And I don’t see why these issues are at the forefront of so many people’s minds today without an occasional rant about them.

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      • Yesterday I drove across the Humber Bridge and I explained to my grandchildren the history. One of them (I forget which) said ‘what if it collapses while we drive across’ That is being negative!

        The only thing I really care about is that my pension payment arrives on time every month. Realistically that is the only way that I can care for my family and their future!

        I haven’t made any New Year Resolutions because they inevitably turn into broken promises.

        That is rather pessimistic, I agree!

        Liked by 1 person

        • I wasn’t bad at the resolutions because I made them personal,objectives each year and within what was achievable. So, something like “donate x to y charities” was easy, begin search for new job also was easy and within my control. But, attempt summit of Imja Tse was a bit wimpish so I would write “reach summit of Imja Tse” which took three bloody years. However, meet kids for gym and swim every Wednesday was one of the best I ever made, and kept, in my whole life!

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        • The simple ones are the easiest!

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  4. I’m not one to have ever in person (just via a child who did the foreign exchange gig back and forth with a lovely French family) been to your country, so I can only say, “Three Cheers to you for knowing what your wish list is!” On a complete side note (literally) I like your reading list and have added a couple to mine thanks to you sharing it on your sidebar! Happy January to you, Dr. B. PS – I prefer proper leaf tea as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I wrote that list in about 10 min flat, and have thought of several more since I wrote it …. including wishing for full independence for Scotland to be separate from the UK! Happy New Year to you too.

      Liked by 1 person

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